A Lawyers Preferred Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Jokes

Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What is the legal definition of Appeal?

A: Something a individual slips on in a grocery store.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: What do you contact a lawyer with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: Whats san diego warrants the difference in between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous individual at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If one particular side has one particular, the other side has to get one particular.

Q: What do get cruets you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you you cannot realize.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone poor?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll known as "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's factors and alimony.

Q: What's the difference between an lawyer and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What is the definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your lawyer drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: Whats the distinction in between lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know theyre boring.

Stories:

1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Dont be concerned. Youll by no means go to jail with all that income? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he didnt have a dime.

two. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There is a fire across the street, and we did not want you to believe you had died."

3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And exactly where do you believe you happen to be going to find a lawyer?"

four. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his initial potential client, he picks up the telephone as the door opens and says, "I demand 1 million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone."

And finally:

You Could Be A Lawyer 4 evangelists talk If.... You are charging somebody to read these jokes.