A Lawyers Preferred Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Jokes

Q: How does a pregnant lady know she is carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What is the legal definition of Appeal?

A: One thing a person slips on in a grocery retailer.

Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: Whats the distinction amongst a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges much more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If 1 side has a single, the other side has to get a single.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An provide you can't comprehend.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll named "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's items and alimony.

Q: What's the difference in between an lawyer and a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your lawyer drive more than a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: Whats the difference between lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know theyre boring.

Stories:

1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Dont worry. Youll never go to jail with all that cash? In truth, when the man was sent to prison, he didnt have a dime.

2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There is a fire across the street, and we did not want you to believe you had died."

3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And exactly where do you get lawyer directory ratings believe you are going to uncover a lawyer?"

four. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. get lawyer directory ratings He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first possible client, he picks up the mobile phone lawyer facebook covers info as the door opens and says, "I demand one particular million and not a penny much less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his workplace says, "I'm here to hook up your mobile phone."

And lastly:

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