Handling An Empty Nest
Author: Shanna Dwyer
The concept of time is very strange sometimes. Time brings changes. From tucking your little ones in bed every evening to suddenly transforming their rooms into spare bedrooms, time is full of surprises. Even if you would rather they not grow up, you know that they will, and one day they have to find their own life paths. This is a pretty scary moment in your life as well, as you ponder the days of loneliness ahead. You can, however, make the transition easier if you arm yourself with the proper mindset.
Just because your children move out in no way means that the relationship you have with them has to end. The relationship simply changes. You will no longer have the relationship you had with the small child who sat on your knee. Now you will have a new friend, and quite possibly a best friend if you handle it properly. They no longer are fully dependent on you to teach them and train them. They have grown into adults and have something to offer you as well. You can both learn things from one another as long as you are both open to the idea. Don't become an invisible parent. Although they are grown, your children will need your love and occasional guidance. Even though your child has left, and regardless of how you feel about it, you will always be your child's parent.
Take some time to look at the bright side. With your children out of the house, you have more time to done on your darling (and occasionally neglected) spouse. You don't get much uninterrupted together time when there are children in the house all the time. You'll have more time now to focus on each other and to get reacquainted. It's the perfect opportunity to enjoy activities you have always wanted to try, but were never able to do when you had children around. Be creative and have some fun with your spouse. You might get some spontaneity and romance back in your relationship when or if your children leave. You can get the same advantages if you are single. You can use your newfound free time as the perfect excuse for going out and meeting new people. In the process you could find yourself falling in love and starting a whole new life.
Now is the time to begin pursuing that hobby you have always wanted to try. Join a club and get recharged through exercise and sports activities. How about a couples-only golf outing or a bowling league! You can finish up that masters degree that you always wanted to get. This is a much needed break for you from your everyday responsibilities as a parent. You can start living for yourself now, following your dreams.
The best thing to do when your kids are gone is to allow yourself some time to get reacquainted with your new living situation before making any life-altering decisions. Naturally, you should remain connected with your kids, because they may be having a difficult time getting used to their situation as well. Once you and your children have gone through the adjustment period, you can start tackling new adventures and challenges. Take the time to enjoy your new life. You prepared your child for life. Job well done! The time has come for a new, exciting chapter in your life. Seize the day!
