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facebook parenting - Just a couple months ago my son Nathan, age 13, declared he wanted a FaceBook account. All his good friends had one, and that he wanted one, too.

After my stomach knotted a bit and that i said a silent prayer, I agreed which he could open a FaceBook account, but told to him there would make sure "conditions."

Like every child nowadays, Nathan often involves mom and dad with requests for this thing or that thing he absolutely can't do without. And the man always comes prepared with convincing arguments...why he desperately needs a cellphone, the most recent gaming innovation, or any other 15 songs from iTunes.

His cases are strong, but we are united in our position that Nathan shouldn't get exactly what he wants. If he did, what would there be to check toward, to operate towards, to desire? This is exactly why Nathan doesn't always have an XBox, PlayStation or Wii. He doesn't own a PSP and never has received a GameBoy.

Everything being said, Nathan has always stood a computer. Starting at three years old with a kid's VTech computer purchased in ToysRUs, he's upgraded every few years to the latest, greatest, yet reasonable version...but the creme de la creme was his iMac he got for Christmas this past year. He really doesn't overlook a whole lot. He still gets to play games (only it's those designed for a computer), but additionally along with his computer he creates music using his guitar, records and enhances songs with GarageBand, adds original soundtracks to his own iMovies, and uses it to complete his homework. Though never to excess, we encourage his computer interest.

When Nathan came to me along with his FaceBook request, I said "yes," albeit by incorporating trepidation. Like most parents, I have heard the stories about failures and knew the possibility danger how the Internet and sites like Facebook could cause for a vulnerable teenager. But I'm also an advocate of informing and educating our youngsters so as they mature they can increase the risk for right decisions for themselves. It is just that in-between time from child to young adult that's so perilous nowadays to cause us parents to visit gray, particularly with a further risk of the net.

So that's why the "conditions." I explained to Nathan it was nearly the same as driving a vehicle. It will be foolish of me or his father handy on the keys at 16 or 17 and expect him to function an automobile safely without correct training, instruction and guidance. The same is true with all the Internet and, in this case, using a FaceBook account. There's things he must know to maintain himself safe, to guard his privacy understanding that of his friends', and to understand the "ins and outs" of safe maneuvering through a teen's social networking.

facebook parenting - Just what exactly were these "conditions?"

1. The email that Nathan registered his FaceBook account with was one that I had usage of. That meant anytime I could enter into his account, take a look and ensure everything on his FaceBook met the "Mom and pop Everything Looks Okay" test. Also, anything that was written on his wall stumbled on me via email notification.

2. He agreed to "Random FaceBook Reviews" where we'd question to adopt us through his account. These were intended to be instructional, basically fun, low-key reviews of the items he shared as part of his profile, pictures (if any) he displayed, the thing that was written by his friends on his Wall, bumper stickers he collected and other things he could offer for view by his friends.

3. He could only "Friend" kids he knew, and zero adults (apart from his dad, me, and his Aunt Carol).

4. The computer which he used will be positioned in a public spot in our house rather than in his room or behind a closed door.

We constantly adjust as things change like FaceBook updates and additional features, nevertheless the operative word here is "we." It's a "family affair." Nathan knows that father and mother are involved because we're most concerned about his safety and never about attempting to catch him doing a problem. Now, it is not always smooth sailing; we do have conflicts, but the important things is always that we keep the communication lines open.

And also you know, I've come across some positive effects with the FaceBook experience, as well. The teenage years tend to be tough territory to move...particularly the early teens. You have some teens maturing quickly, although some not really much. And it is hard...on the girls and boys. But what I'm obtaining from the messages and other FaceBook dialog from Nathan's "friends," both boys and girls, is definitely an ease with which they communicate through this medium...bypassing that awkwardness that we encountered as teens. Specialists Nathan with that, if FaceBook managed to get simpler to speak with girls or to others he might not usually meet as part of his band of friends. He agreed it was a pressure-free, fun method to speak to somebody who he could not ordinarily feel at ease speaking with.

FaceBook now offers an opportunity for all to customize their space, encouraging our children to be creative and giving "friends" a snapshot into why is our kids stand out. Finally, it provides a backdrop on which to possess instructional conversations with our kids. As an example, two to three weeks ago I was seeing some emails to arrive which were not favorable towards a certain young female. I made use of it as being a learning opportunity, emphasizing empathy and reminding Nathan how however not need others to discuss him just how his friends were referring to this young girl...an actual learning opportunity that without FaceBook we would have missed.

teenage social media - That i'm penning this, Nathan makes my office and asks, "Hey, mom, there is a funny bumper sticker about... (some marginally inappropriate saying). Any idea what? Can one place it through to my FaceBook? I do believe it's hilarious!!

"Alright," To be sure when i remind myself that this is really a predictable developmental milestone. I am not too old to consider a few things i was like as well age. Pick your battles, Susan, just pick your battles.