A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer Jokes

Q: How does a pregnant lady know she is carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.

Q: What is the legal definition of Appeal?

A: A thing a person slips on in a grocery retailer.

Q: Why did God make snakes just prior to lawyers?

A: To practice.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of read lawyer ratings directory 12?

A: Your Honor.

Q: Whats the distinction in between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

A: If 1 side has a single, the other side has to get one.

Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

A: An provide you can not comprehend.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone poor?

A: Senator

Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll named "Divorced Barbie"?

A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.

Q: What is the distinction between an attorney and law firm seo services a pit bull?

A: Jewelry.

Q: What is the definition of mixed emotions?

A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.

Q: Whats the difference in between lawyers and accountants?

A: At least accountants know theyre boring.

Stories:

1. A man who had been caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Dont be concerned. Youll never ever go to jail with all that money? In reality, when the man was sent to prison, he didnt have a dime.

2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There is a fire across the street, and we did not want you to feel you had died."

3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences the moment and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and stated, "And exactly where do you consider you're going to locate a lawyer?"

4. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new workplace. He hears an individual coming to the door. To impress his initial prospective client, he picks up the telephone as the door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his workplace says, partner sites "I am right here to hook up your mobile phone."

And lastly:

You May well Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging somebody to read these jokes.