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Affair Surviving? 5 Strategies for Surviving an Affair!

The horrible gut wrenching feeling knowing your husband is having an affair can be a poison that will infect every part in your life. The questions you may well ask yourself and the self doubt wear you down night after night. "Do I throw him out?", "can I neglected and time will heal?", "did I fail him?", "can I save my marriage?". All these things and much more run through the mind, making you angry, sad, scared and depressed. It does not ave to become this way however! Affair surviving is possible and can be done by you if you do a few things right like these tips about surviving an affair.

1. Be aware of affair isn't your fault.

Although it can seem to be that you may have done a problem which has driven him in to the arms of some other woman this really is never true! While the two of you may have made mistakes, (and who honestly hasn't!) the reality from the matter is that he mad the choice to have an affair! This means he's the one that reaches fault no matter the circumstances!

Your husband makes a choice based on a selfish need to try to escape from the problem rather than solving it. The affair is really a temporary indulgence within an emotional and physical neediness. The truth is that affairs are temporary things and seldom amount to anything solid between your two being unfaithful.

2. You have to find out just what type of affair is happening.

Affairs happen for various reasons just as people lead different lives and wish different things. Here are a few from the main excuses men use to warrant their affair.

My marriage helped me do that! I just can't say no! I just don't want to refuse! I'm not in love anymore! Used to do it to obtain revenge on my small spouse! I desired to prove to myself I am still attractive! I just thought about being close to someone!

all these excuses need techniques used in being handled. Some tend to be more related to his ego exclusively while some convey more complex undercurrents. So that you can survive an affair you should know exactly what you have!

3. Discover what is internally driving him towards the affair.

This follows on from the previous tip, when you can find out the main reason he may state is making him use an affair you have to delve deeper and discover what's really driving him!

You should know what drives your man, how his past has effected him making decisions now, how he copes with relationships and much more. How you do this will vary greatly but only once you discover out what his issue is are you able to develop effective strategies with better decisions. You will also feel a lot better knowing you now have a clear path to follow which is his problem not your personal!

4. Ask yourself the challenging question.

Now that you've got worked out what's happening together with your partner and understand him a lot more than you probably did before you decide to need to ask a hard question of yourself, "do wish to stick with him?". While you probably answer yes immediately or else you wouldn't be reading this guide only once you've come to the conclusions you've after following the first 3 steps can you look at this more honestly.

Basically you need to work out should you love him and wish to stick with him or if you want to save your valuable marriage based on your personal feelings of insecurities and neediness. While this may seem harsh if you would like him to tell the truth with you you must be honest with him and yourself, if you're attempting to save a married relationship based purely on selfish reasons could it be much of a marriage? While you are wondering this now it is better to find out about him first before you see this question logically!

what to do when your spouse cheats

Do you know the likelihood of saving your marriage?

what sort of affair you have from tip 2 constitutes a large impact on how easy it will likely be to save your marriage and could effect how you approach this issue. Here is a quick guide, however small nuances in each situation can vary the end result so this is only a rough guide.

My marriage made me do that! - tough to save. If he is occur his mind that the marriage may be the problem then obviously it will likely be harder to obtain a healthy marriage back. I just can't say no! - this really is purely his problem and it has a good chance of saving the wedding once he works it out. i just don't wish to refuse! - less good. He is choosing very logically to have this affair because he really wants it. This really is still an ego issue though and he may still want a marriage back when the reasons for his wanting an affair could be solved. Better then the first not as good because the second type. I'm not in love anymore! - less bad as it sounds, he is wanting with this type even though he feels the love is finished the marriage may still have appeal. Rekindling love can turn this around greatly! I did it to obtain revenge on my small spouse! - also less bad as it sounds. Angry and petulant but he still sees you as his wife otherwise he would have simply tried for any divorce.

I needed to convince myself i am still attractive! - again more about his ego than your marriage. I simply thought about being close to someone! - if there is distance in a marriage this may be problematic, this may be tough.

5. Predict the near future

When you are armed with all of this information and can act on it additionally, you will be armed with an important skill; foresight. Making use of your new understanding of your man and the desires, shortcomings and requires you can predict what's going to happen in his affair as well as your marriage.

Making use of your knowledge predict if he will have another affair even if this one stops. Use your knowledge to calculate if the affairs are long-term or simply one evening stands. Predict what sort of affairs he is likely to have, physical, emotional or mental? Make use of this knowledge to determine the future then act onto it!

Affair surviving could be a hard road no matter what your alternatives but i hope these tips on surviving an affair will arm you with the important information to make the right decisions not only now but for long in to the future! best of luck!

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